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Last updated At any given time, there is no shortage of trend pieces to make us single women sweat. All I can think about when I see those headlines, though, is that dating was never alive for me in the first place. I struggled to make friends in person, but platonic relationships formed quickly and easily through LiveJournal communities and AOL Instant messenger chat rooms. My success with making friends online does not translate to finding a romantic relationship online with the same ease.
In the beginning, I wondered why it was impossible to find someone who was looking for more than a casual quickie. Like many women, I asked myself, Am I too ugly? Or maybe I am just too weird? But the viral OKCupid blog post about messaging and race confirmed a nagging fear: Did you read my profile at all before contacting me? But I had to start considering the plausibility.
Getting photos and profiles picked and edited by friends. Not expecting my best matches to come to me and messaging them first.
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They were first passed in the s to prevent freed Black slaves from marrying Whites and the biracial children of White slave owners and African slaves from inheriting property. It was not until , during the height of the Civil Rights Movement, that the U. Supreme Court ruled in the Loving v. Virginia case that such laws were unconstitutional. At that time, 38 states in the U. As suc, one could argue that it’s only been in recent years that interracial marriages have become common in American society.
Hi Christelyn, I hope this message finds you well. My name is Tim and I recently saw a Youtube video you had posted wherein you interviewed Asian men and Black American women in NYC about their thoughts regarding interracial dating and marriage. From there I found your other video to which I am responding. First, I would just like to commend you for the outstanding work you have done and thank you for navigating these issues of race in the way that you do.
Before I get to the heart of my response, perhaps I should preface it with a little information about myself. My dad is of mixed European ancestry and self-identifies as White, and my mom is half Puerto Rican and half Italian and identifies as multi-racial however, she acknowledges that she can oftentimes pass for White and as such does benefit from White privilege. I grew up in a predominantly White area and was one of the only Asian American students for the entirety of my grammar and high school career.
During and after college, I have maintained a diverse group of friends and have had the good fortune to travel to various places in Asia including a two year stint in Korea and Taiwan, as well as less extensive periods in Hong Kong, Japan, and mainland China. Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially with Black women among others and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman who self-identified as such. In short, the main thing that I wanted to say is that there is no reason for Black women to hesitate dating Asian men any more than they would anyone else.
Rather than abide by the commonly held belief that conflict may stem from actual differences in culture between members of the respective groups , she instead illustrates how some Koreans are actually influenced by the US mass media to view Black Americans negatively prior to their arrival in this country. I use this example not because I am trying to argue that Koreans or other Asians are in no way prejudiced all by themselves and that those biased ways of seeing things may impede an otherwise decent romantic relationship; rather, I am merely trying to illustrate a degree of complexity to this issue which I feel is oftentimes overlooked.
Although it can seem tempting to write Asian men off because they or their families may have racist notions about Black Americans, when we broaden our purview we see that the issue stretches far beyond that of the Asian American community.
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